Birmingham, United Kingdom- Muhammad Al-Aa’eedah, a local Muslim man, knew what he had to do when he witnessed Darcy Mullins, 11, drowning in the lake at Cannon Hill Park.
“To be honest, I really don’t know how to swim,” said Mr. Al-Aa’eedah, who celebrated his 34th birthday last week. “But when I witnessed a defenseless child struggling to swim in a pond, I really didn’t have any other option.”
So Muhammad swam. And when he was able to pull the girl’s motionless body to the shore, he administered CPR.
“Putting my lips to Darcy’s lips while pressing down on her nubile breasts gave me a great rush,” said Muhammad, breathlessly. “I wanted to save her, but in the end, I was the one who was saved.”
When Darcy spat up globs of pond water onto Muhammad’s silk shirt and regained her breath, the entire scene changed.
“I honestly didn’t know what to do.” Muhammad spoke contemplatively. “She lied there gently, breathing tiny little breaths. She was alive.”
One would think an innocuous story of this nature would not cause a public outcry. One would think that Muhammad would be hailed as a hero all over England.
However, various Neo-Nazi and Alt-Right groups in England are calling for police to investigate Mr. Al-Aa’eedah after Darcy Mullins’ naked body was discovered half-submerged in a lake at Cannon Hill Park earlier this morning with visible signs of sexual abuse and rape.
“Did I rape and kill Darcy?,” Mr. Al-Aa’eedah pondered thoughtfully. “No. It is impossible to rape a whore. Her soul is with Allah now.”
Various Muslim Rights organizations in England are vocally denouncing British conservatives over what they deem to be an “Islamophobic” outcry to the story.
“Look, getting raped and killed is just part and parcel to going to the park in England,” said Landon Mayor Saddiq Khan. “What I would like to know is where was Darcy’s parents, and, more importantly, her hijab.”
Despite the racist outcry to Muhammad’s heroism, Muhammad, who has since defected to Pakistan to join the Islamic State, is hopeful for the future.
“In Allah’s sacred name, I will never be wanting. There will be more virgins awaiting me in Paradise when I spill the blood of nonbelievers,” Muhammad said, a heroic twinkle illuminating his eyes. “This is my sacred jihad as a Muslim man”.
A Brixton man was arrested later that day due to reports of racist Facebook posts related to the events. He faces five to ten years.